into the sun
by radiantcerulean
Summary: When she sees a brilliant beam raze through the sky, the shattered earth rolling along the horizon in its wake, Jyn learns death is a different beast when it's right in front of you and there's nowhere to run. Jyn and Cassian on Scarif. Rebelcaptain if you squint. One-shot.


The only sound as the turbolift descends is the familiar hum of machinery. Cassian is propped up against the wall, his body turned towards Jyn. She's facing him too, close enough that one step would close the distance between them. If this were a holovid, Jyn thinks, they might kiss now. But this isn't a holovid, it's war, and even though she respects Cassian - owes him her life, even - he's still the man who was ready to kill her father. She's been too busy trying to sabotage the Empire to figure out what it all means to her.

In the silence, they look at each other. Cassian's watching her like he's terrified she'll disappear if he takes his eyes off her. Jyn considers saying something, but she's never been much of a pep talker, and she's certain Cassian will see through any reassurance she tries to give. "You've lost" she told Krennic, and it was true, but that didn't mean she had won. Her elation was a brief thing, quickly overshadowed by her practical side. They are in the middle of enemy territory, and Cassian is injured. The worst is surely yet to come, but she'll do everything she can to get them out of this alive.

Jyn is good at surviving. It's the only reason she's even made it this far. She survived underground on Lah'mu before Saw Gerrera, and she survived on Onderon after him. She survived a Separatist prison on Vallt and an Imperial labour camp on Wobani. The difference is this: she's spent her whole life looking out for herself, but now she has Cassian to consider. She won't leave him behind, not this time. The Death Star plans made it into the hands of the Rebellion; she's earned the right to make that decision.

Her fingers ghost over the blaster tucked into her trousers. Cassian still has his in hand. The turbolift groans and shudders; they've reached the bottom of the tower. Jyn wipes her damp palms against her shirt, and then grips the blaster firmly in her right hand. She offers her left arm to Cassian, who grunts as he shifts the weight onto her. She looks him in the eye for one long moment, then nods. The doors open.

Jyn has thought about dying. As a child on Lah'mu, watching her mother crumple to the ground; after Saw abandoned her, and she found herself with no shelter and without a means to earn her food; when the Stormtroopers showed up on a job gone horribly wrong and she saw one of her comrades go down to blaster fire; as a fight erupted in a canteen in one of the Imperial prisons and she was pinned to the floor by a Makurth, a scaly hand around her neck and sharp teeth snapping in front of her face. Death is something she's been aware of for a long time now. But when she stumbles out of the turbolift and sees a brilliant beam raze through the sky, the shattered earth rolling along the horizon in its wake, Jyn learns death is a different beast when it's right in front of you and there's nowhere to run.

They stop moving. She can almost feel Cassian's heart drop in his chest. His body sags, more of his weight falling on to her shoulder. If it weren't for her, she thinks, he might just fall to the ground and accept it. But Jyn won't accept it. After all, she's never been the kind of person to take things lying down. She's going to die, that much she can't deny, but it won't be here, on this landing strip with the bodies of their allies and enemies strewn about and blood seeping into the sand.

She takes a step forward, then another, facing the destruction barrelling towards them, pulling Cassian along with her. If he had more strength, he'd probably ask her what she's doing, doesn't she know they're going to die? But he is tired, and as Jyn collapses to the beach before the clear blue ocean, she realises that so is she. She stretches her hands towards the shore, lets her fingers drift along the sand, and feels the cool water lap gently over them. There are many things she'd have liked to do before she died, but her time has run out, and right now this is all she has.

"Your father would've been proud of you," Cassian says, and if they weren't about to die Jyn might argue, might tell him he didn't know her father, had no right to speak of the man he was ready to kill. Instead, she turns to look at him. If she spoke, her voice might break, so she says nothing. She tries to smile, but it's hard when her lips are trembling. They reach for each other at the same time, fingers intertwining in a firm grip. It's not a very Jyn thing to do, but in the next few minutes all Jyn will be is a speck of stardust.

All she can see of the horizon is a burst of white light. Cassian turns his head away, but Jyn can hardly tear her eyes away. _How can something so terrible look so beautiful_ , she wonders. Cassian squeezes her hand, and Jyn pulls him towards her, burying his face in the crook of her neck. His eyelashes tickle as they flutter against her skin. She feels the shiver pass down his body as he sighs, softly. The light grows closer.

Cassian pulls back. His free hand moves to cup Jyn's cheek, his thumb brushing back strands of unruly hair. He searches her eyes for something; Jyn doesn't know what, but she hopes he finds it. "I'm sorry," Cassian says quietly, and Jyn understands all the things he doesn't say. She allows herself to close her eyes for a moment before she whispers back, "Me too." He takes her in his arms then, cradling her close, and Jyn wraps her arms around his back, holding on for dear life. His body feels warm against hers. The light is so close now, so bright that it hurts to look at, but she doesn't close her eyes.

Jyn thinks that it's nice, not having to die alone, and then the light engulfs her.


End file.
